...or at least mine is. Can it really be 241 days since I embarked upon this 'Challenging Year'?
For those of you who are...well...a bit slow on the uptake, shall we say (thick), this whole 'Challenging Year' thing works on two levels. There are 30 challenges which various friends set me and there is the deeper ongoing challenge of getting my life back on the straight and narrow. It's all jolly clever if I do say so myself! I believe the technical term for this might be 'a frame story' - rumours that Madonna adopted this technique for her W.E. film having read this blog are, as yet, unsubstantiated (however, if anyone actually goes to see this film and spots an semblance of a conga, do let me know and I'll sue the witch).
The challenges which friends kindly set me have acted as a welcome distraction and focus to enable me to tackle the wider challenge - and very helpful they've been too. I am, however, a man of my word so the aim is to complete as many of the thirty as possible before the year is out. This gives me precisely 124 days to fit in the remaining x challenges. A quick reminder of those which remain...
2. Run 'Racing the Planet' in Jordan (Iain) - now this isn't going to happen, as I didn't get a place. Well it was £2,000 to enter and I never seem to have that amount on me when I need it. Mr Clark and I have, however discussed taking part in 2013 and there are rumours of a replacement 100km challenge in the UK in May. Whilst neither will meet the deadline for this challenge, the aim is to secure a place on one or both before the time is up. Will that do? ACTION REQUIRED
3 & 4 - Attend the Biathlon world Cup in Oslo / Antholz (Ingrid / Ellen) - neither have happened, due to financial constraints. Instead, I attended the Biathlon in Ostersund, Sweden with my big bro (taking advantage of his hospitality along the way. Thanks The Boy!). I'm considering this one as good as done DONE (ISH)
5. Take part in the Clipper Round the World Yacht Race (Rachel) - now this one isn't going to get done. For reasons similar to Challenge 2, I haven't managed to locate the spare £12,500 entry fee. I know I had it somewhere in the house, but can I find it? Of course, it'll probably turn up down the back of the sofa in April. I have, however, been on a small ferry across the River Avon - will this do? Probably not really. Ideas are, therefore, required for a replacement challenge please. ACTION REQUIRED?
7. Find Sister Wendy's caravan (Katie) - I am very much hoping that Katie will join me for this one, partly cos I don't want to get arrested alone and secondly because it will just be so much more amusing. Guaranteed, however, that we will giggle like six year olds the entire day. I should add, that I don't usually condone stalking members of the church for amusement value, so please don't try this at home - or, indeed, in the Vatican. ACTION REQUIRED
8. Visit Louis Tussaud's House of Wax in Great Yarmouth (Katie) - I'm planning to combine this with task 7. It's been a year since I last went, so I'm only hoping and praying that they've added some new exhibits since. I know I bang on about this the whole time, but if they were ever to reclassify the Seven Wonders of the Modern World, this would be right up there with the Taj Mahal and Machu Picchu for me. If you haven't ever been - GO; if you have been - GO AGAIN! ACTION REQUIRED
9. Speak Portuguese, badly, to strangers at a Festa (Helen) - nothing on this list fills me with a greater sense of guilt and self-loathing than the fact that this is still here. Like so many of my smashing friends, The G has been an absolute rock over these last twelve months. She has a beautiful home in Portugal, a wonderful other half and the guarantee of lots of laughter, so it simply isn't on that I haven't been to see her. This must be rectified!!! ACTION REQUIRED
12. Survive a night out on the town with the Birmingham cougars (Juanita) - I'm due a trip to Brum for a couple of work-based shenanigans, so must build this in. Juanita - I'm on my way (bet you wished you hadn't mentioned this now) ACTION REQUIRED
16. Get up on stage and sing (Helen) - I can't believe I haven't achieved this? Much of my life is a giant karaoke session, as my long-suffering team will tell you. Barely an hour goes by without me butchering some modern classic aloud. Karaoke has, of course, taken place with a fair degree of regularity, but no stage has been involved. ACTION REQUIRED
17. Break a world record (Kate) - chances are I've broken some unwittingly. Yesterday, for example, during a conversation with the 'staff' at Putney Station (I sue the term 'staff' loosely, as this suggests that some work takes place) I think I probably had a fair crack at the most swear words one person could get into a single sentence. I recognise, however, that any record needs some verification, so will set about finding something I can smash ACTION REQUIRED
18. Invent something (Kate) - if words count, I think I invented a whole new lexicon of swear words during above-mentioned rant at South West Trains. I'm not known for being a creative person, so any guidance very welcome on this ACTION REQUIRED
19. Flirt with a stranger every day for a month (Kate) - technically this hasn't been achieved, but I reckon I can claim a 'partly' on this one as there has been significant progress. That doesn't mean that there has been flirting-a-plenty, but as someone who immediately thinks I must have snot on my face if someone looks at me, there has been a lot more flirting over the 241 days than I would have imagined. Now before anyone goes out shopping for hats, calm yourselves. I am very much enjoying the single life and can't, frankly, be bothered with the hassle of a relationship for the foreseeable future (the fact that I, the last of the great romantics, instinctively describe relationships as a hassle, tells you something about my current frame of mind on the subject). I intend, instead, to invest in a smoking jacket, some carpet slippers, a monocle and a selection of 5,000 piece jigsaws - and shall be very content with it. DONE(ISH)
20. Learn to play Happy Birthday on the banjo (Kate) - does anyone have a banjo I can borrow...and anyone providing a filthy response will be sent out of class ACTION REQUIRED
21. Visit Ellie & Jay in Spain - eek, Ellie & Jay are no longer in Spain. I was, in Spain, however - will that do? Sorry Whitters! DONE(ISH)
23. Complete a Charity Challenge in Guatemala (Rachel) - OK, so I haven't been anywhere near Central America, let alone Guatemala. I am, however, running the London Marathon for Macmillan so am embarking on a charity challenge. Close enough? SCHEDULED (ISH)
27. Learn to love dogs (Jo) - not quite sure how I measure this. I have got much better with our canine friends to the extent I no longer instinctively cross the road if one is coming my way. I'm still terrified of the two Rottweilers which exercise off the leash outside the flat, but have managed to walk purposely by on a number of occasions without flailing my arms in the air like Tippi Hedron in 'The Birds'. I also watched the Youtube clip of Fenton on several occasions - surely that counts for something? DONE(ISH)
28. Learn Circus Skills (Kat) - I've half learnt to juggle soft fruit - I'm not trusting myself with Piggy's fine china. I've also had several alcohol-induced amusing clown-type falls over the year. Not good enough? ACTION REQUIRED / DONE(ISH)
29. Buy a flat in Putney (Susie) - more news on this in future blogs. I don't want to jinx it (superstitious twat that I am), but I might have an update shortly. SCHEDULED (ISH)
So, by my reckoning I've still got 13/30 to complete of which 11 are still to be scheduled. It's going to be a busy 124 days. Will I ever learn not to leave everything to the last minute?!
Until next time
